'पहिले पहिल छठी मैया' यह पिछले साल का वीडियो है, मगर मैंने अभी पिछले महीने देखा था. उसके बाद कई बार नज़र से गुज़रा. इधर तो सोशल मीडिया में यह तेज़ी से घूमने लगा है. छठ जो नज़दीक है !
लेकिन बिहार के महत्त्वपूर्ण त्योहार छठ पर केन्द्रित इस वीडियो से गैर-बिहारी भी अपने को जोड़ सकते हैं. अपने अपने प्रदेश की संस्कृति से दूर जाने की कसक सबको है. इसमें अतीत की खूबसूरत चीज़ों के छूट जाने का दर्द ऐसे पिरोया हुआ है कि उसका साधारणीकरण होने में देर नहीं लगती है.
The Nari Gunjan Sargam Mahila Band is a group of 10 drummers - the first all women's band in Bihar. These women from the underprivileged Musahar community have trained for months with the support of Sudha Varghese who established Nari Gunjan, an organization that works towards the education, livelihood and rights of the Dalit and Mahadalit communities of Bihar. Their music is empowering, joyous and a steady source of livelihood for them.
This film was commissioned by Oxfam India who work closely with Nari Gunjan as a partner organization
Romanian photographer Mihaela Noroc spent nearly four years shooting portraits of — and collecting stories about — women from around the world.
The product of her vision — and her travels to 50 countries — can be seen in her book The Atlas Of Beauty, hitting shelves Tuesday.
The project, she says, began as something "very genuine and sincere" that she financed, initially, with her own savings — and by being frugal in her backpacking adventure. She later crowd-funded, including a Facebook campaign in March.
NPR's Lulu Garcia-Navaro spoke with the 31-year-old via phone from Berlin about her photography. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
SyriaMihaela Noroc/Courtesy of Ten Speed Press
Interview Highlights
The ‘60s youthquake killed our desire to dress like grown-ups.
JAN 18, 2017
On the cover of British Vogue in 1948, an unthinkable figure appeared. An elegant woman turned toward the camera with a set of pearls, a trim suit, and hair that was (gasp!) visibly gray. The fictional character of Mrs. Exeter appeared twice on the cover. Since then, rarely — if ever — would a woman approaching 60 appear on that coveted platform by herself.
Introduced in the late 1940s, Mrs. Exeter taught older women how to dress. “Mrs. Exeter knows what she likes — result of a thorough knowledge of herself,” wrote Vogue in the October/November 1958 issue. Her advanced age gave her an edge over flighty younger women who hadn’t zeroed in on their sense of self. She appears secure in dresses made from sturdy fabrics not seen as much today, like wool crepe or tweed.
COMMUNITY AND SEXUALITY: LEARNING A POLITICS OF UNBELONGING
July 1, 2017
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After writing the words “Community and Sexuality” as the working title of this piece, I attempted to begin writing many times, but kept getting stuck at “community” and its meaning. I kept coming back to this common phrase that we hear often in conversations, “hamare yahaan…”, “hum logon mein…”,[1] or the many variations of the same. To me the act and ability to say these phrases comes from that sense of a community, and a belonging to it. And as I thought about this further, I came to see why it was becoming so difficult for me to write. These are phrases that I do not use. Often because they just don’t apply and mainly because they create a notion of othering which fractures a larger sense of community. Dr Ambedkar referred to this larger sense of community as fraternity, in the Constitution, and said that it was crucial for the idea of a nation in a society divided by caste. I do not believe in the concept of “a” nation but I do believe in something else uniting us in a sense of community beyond the accident of our birth.
What does society expect a young girl from rural India to do? Be proficient with cooking and household chores. What did Annu Rani do? She battled these inane stereotypes, picked up the javelin and created a dream for herself. Thanks to #GripYourGame initiative by Furo Sports, we are so incredibly proud to meet the National Women’s Champion in javelin throw – Annu Rani!
Furo Sports’ latest #GripYourGame initiative is bringing out awe-inspiring stories of different sports persons in India. Perhaps the most moving one orginates in village Bahadarpur, Uttar Pradesh. Annu Rani was taunted by most of her neighbours for not being able to cook and take care of home like expected of girls her age. Today the same folks proudly associate themselves with Annu. She has battled everything from lack of amenities to injuries to stereotypes to emerge as among the best in her field. Watch her arduous and inspiring journey here:
Annu trains with 180kgs of weights to throw the 600g javelin in the most perfect way – such is the grip on her game. It is this very spirit that #GripYourGame is celebrating. Furo Sports has done a phenomenal job curating stories of Annu and various other sports persons. Annu inspires us to fight all odds and stubbornly stick with our dreams. A big cheer to Annu and to Furo Sports for sharing this tale with us!
Farm ownership: it’s a farmer’s dream and often difficult to attain. My project about women farmers started and blossomed with one such farmer with a fierce dream.
Shannon Varley is a woman with a strong vision of owning and working her own farm, and she’s been on a mission to realize that dream for years. I feel so fortunate to know her and to witness her dogged struggle to achieve her dream of being a land-owning farmer. She is a generous and warm person with a genuine heart, and she is an inspiration. It’s Shannon who one day said to me, “Lise, you should start a blog.” So, here we are. Thank you, Shannon.
I’ll be telling her story in small pieces over the course of many posts. It’s a story of a dream, of persistence, hard work and luck, of tragic loss and of renewal.
In the four years alone that I’ve known and have been photographing her, I’ve seen her family go through many challenges in the quest to own their farm. Shannon has faced them all with inspiring grace and tenacity.
It took Shannon eight years of “searching and working and dragging animals up and down the East Coast” before she and her family found and purchased their own farm in Knoxville, MD—the farm, she laughs, out of which she’ll be carried feet first.
The appeal of a farming lifestyle
Shannon is married with two children. In the time I’ve known her, she’s lived in 4 different places and had a variety of farm animals: pigs, steer, chickens, sheep and rabbits (hope I’m not forgetting any) and two different gardens. Farming was never on her radar as something to do with her life, but over time she arrived at a place of knowing that farming was her true calling. She now feels that her role in growing and raising healthy food for people addresses many of the problems that we face as a country; at the same time, a farming lifestyle is how she wants to live and raise her children. It’s a life that is very hard, but feels right to her. At this point she can’t imagine doing anything else with her life, even though she often toys with the idea of returning to some kind of 9 to 5 job, because “Lord knows we could use the extra money!”
But a 9 to 5 kind of life doesn’t feel intuitive to her, and Shannon listens to her intuition. She’s learned through the years that when she approaches the world with a heart of love, warmth and trust, things really materialize the way they are supposed to.
But how did she arrive at this point of knowing, was my question. She didn’t grow up with farming as a model, so how did she find her way to it? Did she choose her path, or was she led to it? How did she know it was her calling?
The birth of a farmer
From an early age Shannon noticed how food affected how she felt, mentally and physically. By the time she got to college, she realized how important it was that people be growing healthy food, but it never crossed her mind that farming would be a viable option for her. What seemed viable for her, instead, was to focus on policy and lawmaking as the way to have an impact. After researching a project on organic standards at Denison University, she became curious about farming and took a post-graduate internship at Malabar Farm in Ohio, where Louis Bromfield, considered the father of the sustainable farming movement, had lived. It was her first exposure to farming, and she felt attracted to its vibrancy and deepness. And its chaos.
After about six months of interning on the farm and working part time as a naturalist, she made what to me seems like a remarkable decision for a young woman. In 1999 she approached an older man with avacant farm and asked if she could lease the farm and make a go of it. She stood on his doorstep and explained that she wanted to grow organic food and start a CSA, but Shannon could tell he clearly wasn’t listening to anything she was saying. He scrutinized her and said, “You’re not going to grow wacky tobbacky, are you?” After explaining that she would not be growing marijuana but was, indeed, just interested in growing vegetables—and after explaining what “organic” meant—he agreed to lease her the farm. Once she won him over (which I can imagine didn’t take very long), he became a huge supporter, loaning her equipment, plowing her fields. She had free range of his greenhouses. Whatever she asked for, he gave her. What a nice situation in which to learn farming!
Shannon quickly realized, though, that even with his help she couldn’t do it by herself, so she convinced a girlfriend from Malabar Farm to come join her. They farmed two acres, started a CSA in Columbus, sold to restaurants, and both had part-time jobs. For two years they worked their butts off, and Shannon enjoyed it. But she was young, was living in the middle of nowhere, and still wanted a social life, so she and her friend decided to move away from the farm.
Shannon left her two-year stint at farming without a clear idea of what to do next. So like any good child of teachers, she returned to school. She had always felt that meaningful change in our food system would come about on the policy level, so school was the natural place for her to be. While at Vermont Law School working on her master’s degree in environmental law, she was unhappy being stuck inside. She was aware of the changing seasons and would think, “this is when I’d be planting such-and-such.” She was constantly distracted from her schoolwork by spending time outdoors, by a desire to watch the changing light and the sun’s position in the sky.
Shannon realized that all her time pursuing academic work was like checking off boxes (undergraduate: check; master’s: check), and she felt disconnected from what was intuitive and natural and right for her. After law school, feeling more lost than she’d ever felt, she returned to her parents’ in Pennsylvania to start job searching, hell-bent on finding a policy position in DC, even though that kind of work didn’t quite resonate with who she felt she was. She sees now that she just wasn’t listening to herself.
I’m sure we can all relate to that feeling of being lost in our lives and not knowing how to proceed. I think often about the question of whether we determine the course of our life or whether we are led to discover our path. When I listen to Shannon tell her story, I definitely feel she was led. So does she.
Shannon trades in her power suit for Red Wiggler
While helping a neighbor look for a program for her son, she came across Red Wiggler Community Farm in Maryland, a program that integrates farm work and job training for developmentally disabled adults. That same day—really, the same day—she noticed an opening on Idealist for a farm manager at Red Wiggler, and despite the fact that the job didn’t entail wearing a suit in the corridors of power in DC, something about it felt right to her. You can guess what happens next, right? She gets the job and moves to Maryland in 2003.
Shannon loved her job and was able to take part in all aspects of the small operation, greatly expanding her skill set. She worked on the farm for five years. During that time she met her future husband, BJ, and pretty quickly they had a daughter. She was able to bring her daughter to work with her, which was a joy, and her job duties shifted into grant writing and other administrative tasks. By the time her son was born two years later, she was doing contract work for Red Wiggler from home.
By now she knew—deeply knew—that she wanted to be farming. Screw the corridors of power! She felt that farming was something she could do with the kids in tow and it would be a life that was right for her family. BJ had a business restoring barns, and Shannon felt sure that being the frugal people they were, they could live on BJ’s salary and get a farm going.
So what, exactly, does that look like? Starting a farm from scratch seems like an overwhelming and heroic proposition. Even more so when you have the responsibility of raising children. I’ve learned, though, that like everything else in life, you take it one step at a time and you learn as you go.
After Shannon’s children were born, she again felt the strong pull to farm her own place. She knew it was the lifestyle that she wanted for her family, but she wanted to be having it on a farm she owned herself. She and husband BJ decided that they’d have a better chance of finding a large farm in Vermont, and it would be a more suitable place in which to raise their kids. They moved the family in the summer of 2008 but soon found that they were mistaken about the likelihood of affording the 100-acre farm to which they aspired.
Instead they bought a cottage with four acres. Shannon grew vegetables and started a farmer’s market in an open public space in town, inviting other farmers to sell there as well. That market is still going strong. From what I know about Shannon, I would have thought that the life she had in Vermont would have been her dream. And in many ways it was, but as her kids grew older, both Shannon and BJ missed having immediate family around.
Back Down the East Coast
Shannon uses her Volvo to bring feed from the barn down to the pigs.
BJ’s gift is restoring timber barns, and before they had moved to Vermont, he did a large restoration project for a family in Maryland. (I’ve seen the barn, and it’s a spectacular restoration.) That family contacted Shannon and BJ in Vermont to see if they might be interested in renting a neighbor’s 15-acre farm. The farm wasn’t far from where BJ’s family lived, so in 2010 they packed up and moved back down.
Once back in Maryland, Shannon called her farm Bella Terra Family Farm and grew vegetables and raised pigs, steer and chickens. She started a local CSA and also sold at three farmer’s markets.
It was during the time Shannon was renting the Maryland farm that I first met her. She spoke often and passionately about the importance of connecting willing farmers with good farmland, and about how hard it is for farmers to afford land.
I spent many days at Bella Terra, photographing Shannon as she worked and getting to know her. One of my favorite days was a foggy day just before Thanksgiving, when most of the images on this post were taken. Fog is one of my favorite weathers to shoot in. I love the softness, the quiet and the muted colors.
For Thanksgiving, Shannon had posted on the dining room wall a large piece of paper that read Grateful. She and BJ and the kids posted what they were grateful for. What a lovely annual tradition.
Farm Ownership: the Dream Remains
Shannon liked her little farm, but her dream for eight years had been to own her own place, not rent, and she couldn’t let the idea rest. Some people argue that a long-term lease is a viable option to get farmers on the land, but Shannon says she’ll never back down from her belief that from the point of view of financial sustainability and land stewardship, it’s essential that ownership be a possibility. She is passionate about this topic.
Finding good, affordable farmland is a challenge, though, because at least in this part of the world, land is sold at development prices, not farm prices. The part of affluent Montgomery County where Shannon was renting had once been rural farmland, but over time the farms were developed for people wanting the feel of the country only 40 minutes from downtown Washington, DC. In came the McMansions. Shannon’s little house and gently sloping property lay nestled among them, practically swallowed up.
The desire to own her own place was palpable, she told me, and sometimes it kept her up at night. But how on earth could they afford a place?
For eight years, Shannon’s goal was to own her own farm, and she and husband BJ visited, walked, and mulled over many, many farms for sale in Maryland, but nothing was quite right. Little did Shannon know that one particular trash-heap of a place would end up being her farm. On her first visit to the property, Shannon wouldn’t even get out of the car. All she saw from the car was a neglected, run-down property that had been completely trashed. Apparently whoever had most recently lived there had not believed in garbage cans but chose instead to throw trash anywhere around the yard. Months after buying the property, Shannon was still finding empty cake cartons in the woods behind the house.
In retrospect, Shannon now likes to say: “sometimes great opportunities are missed because they are dressed in overalls.” Despite her resistance, BJ had a hunch about the trash-heap place and kept bringing it up to her. (Hmmm, there’s that intuition thing again.) Except whoops…opportunity gone. Someone else had made an offer and the property went off the market. Soon, though, it reappeared at a reduced price, and Shannon agreed to at least have a get-out-of-the-car look at it. This time the yard had been cleaned up—a little—at least to the point where she could get her head wrapped around the idea and start to establish a vision for the place.
The Dump
What the property had going for it was a large barn in back that was in great shape. There was some fencing in place, a lovely little pond, and enough land for livestock. She thought that making a good farm out of it was conceivable, and they decided to go for it. They bid low, knowing how much work they’d have to put into the place. Eventually, after lots of back and forth, they secured the property at a reasonable price. That was in April of 2012.
The barn. Notice the McMansion neighbor.
Most important, and what made the deal even possible, was that they were able to finance the purchase for the value of the land alone, because the 1820 house was considered a tear down. “A dump” and “uninhabitable” was what the appraiser called it. The original house was a log cabin, with a stone addition added sometime after, all of which was covered with filthy layers of plaster and drywall. But BJ, whose specialty is restoring timber-framed barns and old houses, suspected that underneath the grime lay a sweet treasure.
But good grief, how would they tackle a job that Shannon said was “overwhelming and more overwhelming”? Shannon described what needed to be done as “the extraction of every inch of plaster, drywall, moldy insulation, flooring, snakes, and anything else that happens to fall out of ceilings or walls. It involves the extensive use of respirators and thick work gloves. It’s a nasty, nasty dirty job.”
And not exactly spending time outside tending to animals or vegetables. But still, a farmer has to have a place to live.
Removing the disgusting plaster from the original log cabin
Shannon and BJ had poured all of their money into the purchase of the farm, so they relied on friends and family for help. They had work parties, and on the first weekend alone, a generous group of folks got more done than Shannon and BJ could have accomplished in a month of weekends.
I wish I could say I was at that party to help and to document the process, but I wasn’t. I didn’t reconnect with Shannon until they were three months into the renovation. While they worked on the house, they lived in a trailer parked just up the driveway. The first time I went into the trailer, to use the bathroom, my thought was “Bless you, Shannon. I don’t think I’d last two days in here without losing my mind.” It was, of course, small and cramped, and they were two tall adults and two children. But to their everlasting credit, they survived 21 months living in that thing.
The house under renovation and a trailer to call home
This was the dining room during renovation
A dream come true
They moved into the renovated house right before Christmas in 2013. In Shannon’s words, “I will never, ever, ever take for granted again: living space over ten square feet, indoor plumbing, an HVAC system, and the pure bliss of being able to close a door.”
And was BJ right about the house? Was it indeed a sweet treasure? Yes, absolutely and completely. Shannon credits BJ with taking “decades of neglect and transforming it into a work of art.”
Fortunately I was able to be at the grand housewarming party in January of 2014, and I couldn’t believe the transformation. The original log cabin had been revealed; there was a huge and inviting kitchen with stone walls and a deck off the back that overlooked the barn; BJ had rescued a fabulous claw foot bathtub from a hospital in West Virginia; and the bedrooms upstairs were lovely and snug. It had become a dream house. And it was featured in the October 2014 issue of This Old House.
The quote from Rumi written above the back French doors perfectly reflects Shannon’s spirit
Shannon’s dream had finally, thankfully, gratefully come true. Eight years of slogging through moves and renovations and mud and dirt and hard work and raising kids and animals and all of it—so much determination and grit. It was a joy to behold.
Now she could finally turn her full attention to her farm and building up its infrastructure.
I visited Shannon a few times after they moved into the finished house. I got to see her give pedicures to her sheep (meaning: cut their toenails and get covered in sheep dung), watch a sheep shearing done by a traveling woman shearer, watch Shannon put in her family garden (a larger market garden would be planted the following year), and generally hang out with the pigs and sheep and chickens and listen to Shannon’s plans for the farm.
But on December 12, 2014, exactly 11 months after the grand unveiling of the remarkable renovation, the house burned down in a raging fire.
photo courtesy Shannon Varley
As in: burned…to…the…ground. As in: everything lost. Their clothes, the kids’ toys, the furniture, Shannon’s grandmother’s china stored so cozy in the cabinet, the Christmas decorations the kids were making. Everything. Including their dog and cat.
This is the part of Shannon’s story that is almost too painful for me to tell.
Here’s what happened. Shannon needed feed for the animals, so she and the kids made a trip to Frederick. BJ was at work. While they were gone, the dog knocked over a lamp inside the house, which started a fire. BJ arrived at the scene first, alerted by a coworker who had been driving by. By the time BJ reached Shannon on her cell phone and she made it back, fire trucks blocked the road and her access, so she had to circle all the way back around the mountain to reach the house.
When she arrived the house was engulfed in flames and all she could do was stand and watch. As she watched her house and dream burn to the ground, she says she began to laugh maniacally. “After all we’ve been through, this happens? How fucking hard does it have to be to have a farm?”
Grief and gratitude
After the maniacal laughter, the shock and incredulity, the tears came. Shannon says she cried a lot (I mean, who wouldn’t?) and had many, many sleepless nights. But here’s the inspiring thing about this truly remarkable woman. She says that 10% of her crying came from loss and grief, but 90% of it came from gratitude.
It continues to move me that she can access gratitude in the face of such unbearable loss. Here’s the Facebook post that she sent out just five days after the fire:
“The enormity of compassion, kindness, love, and grace that has poured into our lives leaves us speechless. Tenderness has come from the most unexpected places. We are humbled. We have had to go down into our grief the last few days, which is the only way to go so that we can come up and out of it. It was just a house, yes, but many of you know it was so much more. It was our heart, our hands, the effort and time of so many people that love us and wanted to see our farm dream become a reality. After years of chasing it. This has become a cold, hard lesson in the art of letting go. It has also given us an unexpected gift. It has shown us over and over again, the beauty, grace, & selflessness of the human spirit: of so many of you. Words will never do this event or the range of emotions it has invoked justice. We have needed to know that you are there rallying around us: the calls, texts, e-mails, messages, hugs, thoughts–we have needed them all. I am sorry we have not been able to respond. We will as soon as we can. I want to say “thank you” from the deepest places of my and BJ’s heart. We are ok. Life carries on. There are far greater griefs in the world. We wrap our arms around each other and give thanks.”
And we hold you in our hearts, Shannon.
Spending time with Shannon while she worked has been the start of my education about farming, and she has been tremendously generous with her time and knowledge. Just being on her farm with her has helped soothe some tough patches in my own life. She’s an inspiration to me and a dear friend, and I can’t read her words about the fire without crying all over again.
Moving on After Grief: Shannon Varley Part 6
/ Shannon
After Shannon’s house was destroyed by fire, she said they received so many donations of clothes and household items that she needed help to go through them all. She said she now owned nicer clothes than she ever had before. I saw her about five weeks after the fire, and she said she felt deflated, ungrounded and untethered (and who wouldn’t?). But she also seemed philosophical and balanced about the experience.
She said that she felt the path was being laid out for them, yet she wasn’t sure yet where that path would lead. What they needed first, of course, was a place to live. After ten days staying with family, they moved to a fully furnished rental. After going back and forth with ideas of rebuilding (some days BJ wanted to, some days she wanted to), they made the decision not to rebuild, but to move on.
They listed the farm for sale (the house was gone, but the barn and fencing remained), and it sold within a week to a family excited about farming. They bought another dilapidated house (this one had been a crack house) right outside of Brunswick, MD, and BJ set to work renovating the house.
They still owned their small place in Vermont, which they had been renting out since moving to Maryland in 2010. Their tenant moved out quite suddenly, and so the idea of moving back to Vermont entered the conversation. Over time they decided that once BJ had finished the renovation of the house in Brunswick, they would sell it, make a profit, and return to Vermont.
I asked her if she could see herself being happy if she weren’t farming, and she said that no matter what, she would always have animals and a garden, but the scale of the plan was up for grabs. She felt jaded about farming, and resentful. “We have worked harder than most people in their whole lives for this dream.”
“Fate is a weird thing. You don’t have profound things happen like this without something coming out of it. But is this how the story ends? A two-acre little house? It has got to have a better ending.”
Moving on
Shannon ended up taking the kids up to Vermont in October of 2015, while BJ stayed behind to get the Brunswick house sold and finish a large barn project for a client. He will join the family when all of that is settled. (In typical BJ fashion, the renovation on the former crack house was stunning.)
She wrote me that she and the kids jumped right in and hit the ground running. The kids’ school “is amazing, and has been the best thing for both kids.” Shannon is coaching the school’s 5/6th grade girls’ basketball team, and both kids are taking part in the school’s ski program this winter. They love their community and have a good group of friends.
And the dream of a farm? “We have looked at a few farms up here but nothing has quite fit the bill yet. That feels discouraging. But, it will work out. I hope. I will fling myself on the ground of the farm when we land and kiss the ground.”
Shannon was back in Maryland recently for the Future Harvest CASA conference, this year as a Future Harvest employee and not an attending farmer (she’s been working as a program assistant for them and helped organize the conference). It was momentarily disorienting to see her in a professional skirt, working at a conference. At one point I asked her if being at a farmer conference was difficult for her, now that she didn’t have a farm. She flashed a smile at me and, with a twinkle in her eye, said “It’s okay, because I know it’s coming.”
Let’s hope that soon these boots will rest outside a new farmhouse for Shannon.
ना कहने और सुनने को कैसे निभाया जाए- एजेंट्स ( AOI ) का क्राउडसोर्सड गाइड !
सहमति, जैसे, अनु कपूर ने विक्की डोनर में कहा था, एक टेढ़ा मेढ़ा शुक्राणु है। हर कोई सोचता है कि यह सरल है – एक हाँ है, एक नहीं और एक शायद। लेकिन हाँ हमेशा के लिए हाँ तो नहीं होता है, और न भी ना हमेशा के लिए ना। और शायद या तो हाँ के अंदर हो सकता है या ना के बाहर। सबसे महत्त्वपूर्ण बात यह है कि सहमति K3G के अमिताभ बच्चन की तरह नहीं है – कि कह दिया तो कह दिया, बस। मतलब यह अपरिवर्तनीय या सुनिश्चित नहीं है। बल्कि हम कई अलग–अलग रोमांटिक और यौन संबंधों के दौरान इसका पता लगा पाते हैं। पहले कदम से शारीरिक संबंध बनाने के बीच, वन नाईटस्टैंड के दौरान या एनएसए, या दीर्घकालिक रिश्ते के दौरान; दरअसल हर उस स्थिति से जिससे सेक्स जुड़ा हुआ होता है।
नहीं आसान होना चाहिए। लेकिन हम सभी जानते हैं कि वह पेचीदा है। यदि आप किसी से ना सुनते हैं, तो आपको आघात होता है, आप अस्वीकृत महसूस करते हैं, आपको निराशा होती है, गुस्सा आता है। आप कभी समझने की कोशिश करते हैं तो कभी परेशान हो जाते हैं। यदि आप सहमति का सम्मान नहीं करते हैं, तो आप शायद ‘ना‘ सुन भी नहीं सकेंगे।
और यदि जिसने ना कहा है वो आप खुद हैं, तो आप तकलीफ और परेशानी महसूस कर सकते हैं। कभी आप राहत महसूस करेंगे तो कभी खुद को दोषी मानेंगे। अंत में आप निर्दयी या असंवेदनशील भी हो सकते हैं। या फिर इससे बचने की कोशिश करते हुए हो सकता है आप अस्पष्ट हो जाएँ।
लेकिन शुरुआत में, कम से कम हम उन नाज़ुक फ़र्क की बात तो कर सकते हैं, जो इस ‘ना’ की शान हैं, है ना! हमने नहीं कहने और सुनने के बारे में कुछ लोगों से बात की, विशेष रूप से उसके अलग अलग जगहों पर पड़ने वाले प्रभाव को समझने के लिए।
1. जब आप बिल्कुल रुचि नहीं रखते हैं।
– मेनेका (21, उभयलिंगी महिला) कहती हैं, “मुझे लगभग छह बार नहीं कहना पड़ा“, जब वो एक ऐसी परिस्थिति में थीं जहाँ सामने वाले व्यक्ति को समझ नहीं थी कि कहाँ रुक जाना चाहिए। “मैं एक मेटल कॉन्सर्ट में थी।” (हाँ वो एक रॉकर लेडी हैं) “उस व्यक्ति ने कुछ ऐसा कहा – ‘मैंने लड़कियों को इतना ज्यादा झूमते नहीं देखा है… क्या मैं आपके लिए एक ड्रिंक खरीद सकता हूँ?’ मैंने कहा नहीं। उसने जोर देकर कहा कि वह किसी भी तरह की सेक्सुअल उम्मीद नहीं रख रहा है। सब एक बकवास नाटक था। अंत में उसने कहा, ‘क्या मैं आपके लिए कम से कम पानी खरीद सकता हूँ?’ मैंने सोचा ठीक है! मैं सिर्फ उससे छुटकारा पाना चाहती थी। लेकिन अगर मैंने उसे ‘हाँ ठीक है धन्यवाद’ कहती, तो यह मेरा जान कर अंजान होना सा होता। अगर मैं किसी केअनुरोध पर फ्री ड्रिंक लेती हूँ तो ऐसी बातों पर आदमी और औरतों के बीच की रीति रिवाजों का लंबा साया रहता है और मुझे उस सब में नहीं पड़ना था ।“
– सीरत (21, विषमलैंगिक महिला) एक ऐसे लड़के के बारे में बताती हैं जो लवर बॉय से स्टॉकर (पीछा करने वाला) बॉय बन गया। “मैं अपने कॉलेज में एक इवेंट का आयोजन कर रही थी जब एक सीनियर मेरे पास आया और कहा कि उसने आज तक मुझसे ज्यादा सुंदर लड़की नहीं देखी। मैंने उसकी प्रशंसा की सराहना करते हुए उसे धन्यवाद दिया। बाद में, उसने मुझे फेसबुक पर संदेश भेजा कि वह मुझसे प्यार करता था। मैंने जवाब में ‘धन्यवाद‘ जैसा कुछ लिखा और यह भी स्पष्ट किया कि मुझे उसमें इस तरह की कोई दिलचस्पी नहीं है। उसके बाद वह रोज़ कॉलेज गेट पर मेरा इंतजार करने लगा। वो मुझे लगभग एक स्टॉकर कि अनुभूति कराने लगा और इसलिए आखिरकार मुझे उसे ब्लॉक करना पड़ा। फिर मुझे एक सीनियर से बात भी करनी पड़ी जिसने उसे यह सब रोकने के लिए कहा। एक साल बाद जब वापस उसे देखा तो उसने अपने बर्ताव के लिए माफी माँगी। वह अभी भी फेसबुक के ब्लॉक्ड लिस्ट में है; लेकिन कोई बात नहीं।“
इससे यह समझ में आता है कि जब कोई आपकी ना सुनने से इनकार करे तो आपको क्या करना चाहिए? दोहराते रहें – विनम्रतापूर्वक, लेकिन दृढ़ता केसाथ। (फिर यह आसान हो जाता है और कभी–कभी सामने वाले को समझ में भी आ जाता है)।
2. जब आप समीकरण को बदलना नहीं चाहते हैं।
मान लीजिए कि आपका एक दोस्त है और आप जहाँ हैं वहाँ खुश हैं, लेकिन वो कुछ और चाहता/चाहती है। आप उसे चोट नहीं पहुँचाना चाहते हैं, और न ही अपने बीच के समीकरण को बदलना चाहते हैं। ऐसे में आप ना कैसे कहेंगे?
– जेनाब (20, इतरलिंगी, महिला) ने किसी मित्र के प्रस्ताव को ना कहा। “पहले तो वो उलझन में था और मानने को तैयार ही नहीं था। फिर मैंने उसे कहा कि हम दोस्त हैं और हम इसे ऐसे ही रहने देते हैं। उसे बात तो समझ में आ गयी लेकिन वह जानना चाहता था कि क्या मैंने किसी डर या भय से उसे ना बोला। मुझे लगता है मुझे उसे और दृढ़ता से मना करना चाहिए था, क्योंकि उसे लगा मैंने सिर्फ उस समय के लिए ना बोला है। मैं नहीं चाहती थी ये रिश्ता कहीं भी जाये, उसे यह बात समझ नहीं आई थी। मुझे लगता है कि सबसे अच्छा तरीका है कि जहाँ तक हो सके, स्पष्ट रूप से ना कहा जाए। जब आप किसी से जुड़े हुए नहीं होते हैं तो ना कहना आसान होता है। लेकिन एक दोस्त के साथ आपको डर रहता है कि कहीं आप उसकी भावनाओं को चोट ना पहुँचाएँ। लेकिन हाँ, दृढ़ता आवश्यक है।“
– आदिल (22, विषमलैंगिक, पुरुष), उसकी दोस्ती को अगले स्तर पर ले जाना चाहते थे। “हम हाल ही में दोस्त बने थे। मुझे रोमांटिक रुचि तो नहीं थी, लेकिन मैं शारीरिक रूप से आकर्षित हो गया था। एक रात एक पार्टी में उसने काफी पी ली थी। वहाँ जब किसी ने पूछा कि क्या हमारे बीच कुछ चल रहा है, तो उसने बड़े रहस्यमय तरीके से कहा था कि – अब तक तो नहीं। बाद में जब मैंने इसका जिक्र किया, उसने मुझ पर विश्वास नहीं किया और कहा कि वह अपने दोस्त से इसकी पुष्टि करेगी। फिर उसने माफी माँगी और कहा कि उसे शारीरिक संबंध बनाने में कोई दिलचस्पी नहीं थी, वो बस एक अच्छी दोस्त बनना चाहती थी। मैं निराश हो गया था, लेकिन फिर मुझे लगा कि उसके साथ ना सो कर मैं कोई बड़ी चीज़ मिस नहीं कर रहा था। वो मेरी दोस्त थी और यह मेरे लिए बहुत था। उसने मुझे जिस तरह ना कहा उसके लिए मैं उसे वास्तव में दोषी नहीं ठहरा सकता था। वह नशे में थी और उसने तो माफी भी माँगी। लेकिन अगर उसकी जगह मैं होता तो यह कभी नहीं कहता कि ‘मुझे तुम्हारी बात पर विश्वास नहीं है और मुझे अपने दोस्त से पुष्टि करनी होगी।‘ यहलगभग ऐसा कहना हो गया जैसे यह पूरी कहानी मेरी मनगढ़ंत है। मैं अगर ऐसा करता भी तो उसकी घोषणा नहीं करता।” (हालाँकि वास्तव में उसने आदिल के सामने तीन हफ्ते बाद ही प्रस्ताव रखा और यह अलग बात है कि तब से वे साथ हैं।)
– निशांत (22, विषमलैंगिक, पुरुष) ने अपने अच्छे दोस्त के सामने प्रस्ताव रखा। वो कुछ दिन पहले ही एक रिश्ते से बाहर निकली थी इसलिए उस समय आगे बढ़ने की मनःस्थिति में नहीं थी। “अभी नहीं, शायद भविष्य में – लेकिन उसका भी मैं कोई वादा नहीं कर सकती“, उसने कहा। उसके कारण बहुत न्यायसंगत थे, लेकिन भविष्य की संभावना में लटकाकर रखने का विचार मुझे पसंद नहीं आया। अगर आप पूरी तरह से ना कहते हैं, तो कम से कम दूसरे व्यक्ति को पता चल जाता है कि ऐसा कभी नहीं होने वाला है। लेकिन यदि आप कहते हैं कि शायद भविष्य में कोई संभावना हो सकती है, तो वह व्यक्ति सोचता है कि वह फिर से प्रयास कर सकता है।“
3. जब आपको दिलचस्पी है, लेकिन आप तैयार नहीं हैं।
जब आप तैयार नहीं होते हैं तो इसे धीमे–धीमे आगे ले जाना चाहते हैं। आप कभी यह भी कहना चाहेंगे कि ‘यह सब बहुत जल्दी हो रहा है‘? या फिर ‘ना’करना चाहेंगे,’ लेकिन सिर्फ तभी के लिए‘। क्या इसका मतलब है कि आप किसी को व्यर्थ बहका रहे हो? यह ज़ोर से कहना आसान तो नहीं है, लेकिन देखते हैं कुछ लोगों ने ऐसा कैसे किया।
– नितिन (22, विषमलैंगिक, पुरुष) – “मैं अपने पहले रिश्ते में एक अनजान किशोर था। जब मेरी प्रेमिका मुझसे शारीरिक संबंध बनाना चाहती थी तो मुझे विनम्रता से उसे मना करना पड़ा क्योंकि मुझे सचमुच नहीं पता था कि ये सब कैसे किया जाता है। मेरा मानना है कि ऐसा कुछ करने से पहले खुद को शिक्षित करना बेहतर है ताकि कोई बेवकूफी ना हो जाये। जब मैंने उसे यह बताया तो उसने कहा ‘चिंता मत करो, मैं तुम्हारी मदद करूँगी।‘ मैंने जोर देकर कहा कि मैं तैयार नहीं हूँ। हम अंततः यह ज़रूर कर सकते हैं, लेकिन केवल तब जब मैं इस विचार से सहज हो जाऊँ। जाहिर है पहले वो नाराज़ हुई। लेकिन फिर उसने कहा कि उसे यह थोड़ा अजीब और अच्छा भी लगा, क्योंकि अमूमन लड़कियाँ रुकना चाहती हैं जबकि लड़के हमेशा तैयार रहते हैं।“
– बारबरा (22, उभयलिंगी, महिला) - “यह हमारे रिश्ते के पहले के कुछ हफ़्तों की बात है। हम तब सिर्फ एक–दूसरे को जानने की प्रक्रिया में थे। उस रात हम काफी दूर तक आ गए, लेकिन मैंने उसे कह दिया कि मैं सेक्स नहीं करना चाहती थी। उसने कहा कोई बात नहीं और फिर कोशिश नहीं की। थोड़ी देर बाद, मुझे बुरा लगा क्योंकि उसने इस सरप्राइज ट्रिप की योजना बनाई थी और मुझे लगा कि वो बुरा मान जाएगा। तो मैंने उससे कहा, ‘जानते हो, मुझे आपत्ति नहीं है?’ ‘ यहाँ कहकर ज़ोर नहीं डाला था, बस मैं ही पछतावे की भावावेश में बोल बैठी थी। मुझे उसका जवाब आज भी स्पष्ट रूप से याद है। उसने कहा ‘मुझे आपत्ति नहीं है‘ और ‘मैं यह चाहती हूँ‘, दोनों में बहुत अंतर है। उसने कहा कि वो मुझे कभी ऐसा कोई काम करने को नहीं कहेगा जिसमें मुझे केवल ‘आपत्ति न हो।‘ तो हमें यह समझ आ गया कि हमें किसी का नेतृत्व नहीं करना चाहिए और सिर्फ किसी दवाब में आकर हाँ नहीं कहना चाहिए। क्योंकि अगर आप तैयार नहीं हैं तो इसकी कोई आवश्यकता नहीं है। प्रेम कोई वस्तु विनिमय प्रणाली- बार्टर सिस्टम- तो नहीं है।“
– अनंद्य (21, विषमलैंगिक महिला) याद करती हैं, “जब मैं कॉलेज में इस लड़के से मिला करती थी, तब एक रात मैं अपने कमरे में घुस गई। मूल योजना कुछ समय बाद ही कर्फ्यू के लिए वापस आने की थी, लेकिन एक और मित्र ने मुझे पूरी रात वहीं रहने के लिए आश्वस्त कर दिया। यह वास्तव में मेरे लिए अजीब था क्योंकि उसने और मैंने साथ काफी कुछ किया था, लेकिन उतना आगे पहले कभी नहीं बढ़े थे। उस रात चीज़ें थोड़ी गर्मजोशी में होने लगीं तो उसने मुझसे पूछा अगर मैं सेक्स करना चाहती हूँ। मैंने उसे धक्का दिया और कहा, ‘नहीं, मैं इसके लिए तैयार नहीं हूँ।‘ उसने कहा, ‘ठीक है‘। मुझे लगता है कि उसकी इस कोशिश का एक कारण अन्य लड़के थे जिनकी उम्मीदों को यह पूरा करना चाहता था। लेकिन मैं उसे प्यार नहीं करती थी, यह बात मैं अच्छे से जानती थी। मैं सेक्स सिर्फ करने के लिए नहीं करना चाहती थी, जब उसका कोई मतलब ही ना हो। “
4. प्यार के मूड में ना होना।
आप किसी के साथ संबंध में हैं,लेकिन ऐसे कुछ समय होते हैं जब आप कहीं और ही मग्न हैं या कुछ ऐसा महसूस नहीं कर रहे हैं। तब किस तरीके से ना कहा जाना चाहिये?
– जोया (20, विषमलिंगी नहीं,अजेंडर) “मेरी हाल की यौन स्थितियाँ मेरी सबसे सम्मानपूर्ण स्थितियाँ रही हैं, उनमें बराबरी के रिश्ते रहे हैं । हम सेक्स में प्रयोग भी करते, पर पहले आपस में पूछ लेते थे कि क्या यह ठीक है। और अगर कोई रुकना चाहता था तो दोनों रुक जाते थे। मुझे लगता है कि ये सब सिर्फअच्छी समझ का नतीजा है। “
मिंडी (25, समलैंगिक, महिला) “जब आप एक दीर्घकालिक रिश्ते में होते हैं, तो आप एक दूसरे को बेहतर समझते हैं और अपने साथी की जरूरतों को समझने में अधिक सहज होते हैं। तो ‘ना‘ जैसे शब्द का वास्तविक उपयोग ही सब कुछ नहीं है। कभी–कभी कुछ सूक्ष्म चीज़ें भी ये कर जाती हैं। कभी–कभी आपको थोड़ा और अधिक संवाद करना पड़ता है। मैं ना कहते समय अपने पार्टनर की भावनाओं को चोट नहीं पहुँचाना चाहूँगी। आप अपनी एकभाषा विकसित करते हैं, और तब ना बोलते हैं। “
भक्ति (22, क्वीयर, महिला): “मेरे अनुभव में, बहुत से लोग बिना मौखिक संकेत के नहीं समझ पाते हैं। कुछ लोगों के लिए, ना वास्तव में ना नहीं है– उन्हें लगता है कि यह हमेशा चिढ़ाने और कड़ी मेहनत कराने के लिए कहा जाता है। यहाँ तक कि मेरे वर्तमान प्रेमी को भी कभी–कभी सचमुच समझ में नहीं आता कि कहाँ तक ठीक है और कहाँ नहीं। मैं इसे पर्याप्त रूप से स्पष्ट करने की कोशिश करती हूँ कि मेरे मामले में ना का मतलब ना ही है और इसमें कोई चंचलता का अंश नहीं है। चूँकि यह उसका पहला रिश्ता है, इसलिए मैं उसे सीमाओं को समझने में मदद करती हूँ। हमने कई बार बैठ कर इसकी चर्चा की है। हमने मौखिक और गैर–मौखिक संकेतों को सेट किया है। यह एक बहुत ही अंतरंग बातचीत होती है जिसे केवल दो लोगों ही समझ पाते हैं। “
रुही (21, विषमलैंगिक महिला) कहती है “जब भी हम फिल्में देखते हैं, तो वो और मैं सेक्स की प्रक्रिया में संलग्न हो जाते हैं। लेकिन एक बार मैं वास्तव में वो फिल्म देखना चाहती थी। तो सीधा बोलने के बजाय, मैंने उसे बहुत ही आधे मन से चुंबन दिया। उस वक़्त तो उसने कुछ भी नहीं कहा, बस थोड़ा चुपचाप था। मुझे लगा कि ओह यह गंभीर हो गया – लेकिन अभी भी मेरा ध्यान पूरी तरह फिल्म पर ही था। फिल्म खत्म होने के बाद भी वह चुप ही था। मैं कभी–कभी उसे कहती हूँ कि उसे और सहज होना चाहिए। इसलिए उसने कहा, ‘अब जब मैं था, तो तुमने मुझे खारिज कर दिया‘ बाद में हमने इस बारे में बात की, तो उसने कहा कि मैं थोड़ा और अच्छे से भी मना कर सकती थी। मैंने कहा चलो माफ करो। शायद मैंने कोई सम्मानजनक तरीके से ना नहीं कहा था? शायद मुझे पूर्ण रूप से कहना चाहिए था कि मैं अभी तैयार नहीं हूँ, क्यों ना बाद में कोशिश करें। कभी ऐसा भी हुआ है जब उसने मुझे ना कहा है। मुझे लगता है कि जब आप किसी के यौन प्रस्ताव को अस्वीकार करते हैं तो यह दर्दनाक भी हो सकता है। आप सोचेंगे कि उन्हें समझ में आ गया है, लेकिन वास्तव में ऐसा होता नहीं है। मुझे लगता है कि हालाँकि इससे थोड़ी चोट पहुँच सकती है फिर भी इधर उधर की बातें करने से अच्छा है सीधे ना बोलना।
5. जब आप किसी भी रूप से असहज हों।
कुछ स्थितियों में, बस ना बोलने को मन करता है। आपको नहीं पता होता है क्यों, लेकिन आप ऐसा ही महसूस करते हैं।
– अंकिता (21, क्वीयर, महिला) अपने पहले प्रेमी के साथ अपनी पहली अंतरंग स्थिति के बारे में बात करती है। “मेरे दिमाग में यह था कि वह बहुत बड़ा और अधिक अनुभवी था, और कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता कि मुझे कितना असहज महसूस हो रहा था; मुझे नहीं लगता था कि मुझे उसे रोकने का अधिकार था। उसने भी मुझसे पूछने या मेरी असुविधा को जानने की कोशिश नहीं की। एक तरफ मुझे लग रहा था कि मुझे इस तरह भोला बनना बंद करना चाहिए। अब मुझे यह पता है कि आप केवल उन स्थितियों में अपनी कामुकता के बारे में सीखते हैं जहाँ आपकी एजेंसी है। यहाँ तक कि अन्य पुरुषों के साथ ऐसी स्थितियाँ भी आयी थीं जहाँ मेरे दिमाग में, अंदर ही अंदर, मैं ज़ोर ज़ोर से खुद को ना कहने के लिए चिल्ला कर कह रही थी। और उन पुरुषों में से कोई भी परेशानी के किसी भी संकेत को समझकर रुका नहीं।” लेकिन उसके लिए महिलाओं के साथ का अनुभव अलग रहा है। “नव्या, वो महिला जिसके साथ मैं सोई थी, उसके साथ सब कुछ बहुत ही आरामदायक था। उसने बार बार पूछा कि मैं सहज थी। शायद यही कारण था कि मैं उसे ना कह पाई।“
– पृथ्वी (22, विषमलैंगिक पुरुष) “किसी ने मेरे साथ यौन संबंध बनाने की इच्छा जाहिर की – हमारे बीच एक स्पष्ट समधिकार - पावर – की असमानता थी। यह एक ही समय में खुशी और भय दोनों के मिश्रण का अनुभव था। मेरा दिमाग जैसे जम गया था। उस पल में मुझे क्या हुआ था, इसकी कोई मिसाल नहीं थी – मुझे नहीं पता था कि यह कहाँ जा रहा है, मुझे नहीं पता था कि मैं कैसीे प्रतिक्रिया दूँ। जब वो हाथ मुझे छूने आया, मैंने कोशिश की और उसे दूर कर दिया। मैंने संकेत दिया कि ‘रहने दो‘ या ‘हमें यह करने की ज़रूरत नहीं है‘। ऐसा एक बार करना ही पर्याप्त होना चाहिए था। मैं पूरी तरह से हमारे बीच के संबंध को समाप्त नहीं करना चाहता था, इसलिए मैंने इसे मुस्कराहट के साथ विनम्रतापूर्वक किया। लेकिन दूसरे ने इसे उत्साहजनक छेड़छाड़ के रूप में देखा। या शायद वे वास्तव में नहीं सुन रहे थे। जब उन्होंने इसे फिर से किया, तो मैंने तय किया है कि ऐसा इस बार तो मैं पक्का अनुमति नहीं दूँगा। लेकिन आप अपने को अंततः लाचार सा पाते हो और और सारी कोशिश छोड़ देते हो। अगर मैं वापस जा सकता, तो मैं इतना तो ज़रूर करता कि जो हो रहा है उसके प्रति जागरूक रहता। किसी ने मुझे सेक्स और लैंगिकता के बारे में नहीं बताया था। इसलिए मैं खुद को इसके बारे में शिक्षित करता ताकि मैं जान सकूँ कि इसके दौरान कैसा लगता है। “
कई बार यह बेचैनी इसलिए होती है क्योंकि ना के लिए कोई जगह बनाई ही नहीं होती है। जब हमारी हिचकिचाहट और गैर–मौखिक ना की उपेक्षा की जाती है, तो हम अक्सर स्पष्ट रूप से ना कहने का आत्मविश्वास खो देते हैं। यह खुद को याद दिलाने की ज़रूरत है – कि यह समझ होना बहुत ज़रूरी है कि कौन सी बात की जा रही है और किस तरह अपनी भावना व्यक्त करनी है, धीरे धीरे सही ,लेकिन निश्चित रूप से।
Everybody knows a place where graffiti is present. Buildings, bridges, train stations etc. But did you ever think about graffiti being placed on war scarred walls? No? Me neither but this is the work of Shamsia Hassani.
In the name of a cow, my cow, you strike a knife through me
And In the name of Make in India you make me run, snatch the food from my mouth, chase me out of my home…..
One day, in the name of Jaimata you’ll drive, Drive, drive a tank hard over me
Swachch bharat ke naam pe mera safaya kar loge?
Chasme pe likh doge, tho Gandhiji ko Samajhjaoge?
Paliya Swachchta, Swadeshi, Swaraj, Ram Rajya?
Tum kya jano Ram ka naam?
Tum kya jano Siyaram?
Tum kya jano,
No, you’ll never know
What Jesus died on the cross for
What the Prophet fled his home for
What Budhha’s 8-fold path was
That Ram’s other name
That we greet each other
Every morning….
Jai Siyaram Jai Siyaram
That simply writing on Gandhi’s spectacles
Gives you not sight, no vision
Blind Blind
Turning a blind eye is a far, far cry from turning the other cheek
Theek?
Izzat bachane ke nam pe
Bataoge mujhe kya pehnna hai?
Saath kiske rehna hai, Dua kisse mangna hai?
Gau raksha ke naam pe roti mere haath
se chheen loge?
Chuppi saadh ke muh modloge?
Aur nahi, mere naam pe nahi
Chchoona mat mere chasme, kehte hain Gandhi
Yes don’t you dare
Not in my name
But don’t you dare
In the name of Allah, Krishna, Buddha, Jehovah,
Kalburgi, Pehlu Khan, Dhabolkar, Mohd Akhlaq, Pansare….
Junaaaaaaid
One last kiss….
You hear? Can you hear?
How come not a sound escapes your, their lips
In the name of making your India
28 Sept.2015 – 3 days after Eid Mohammad Akhlaq, a farm worker, asleep in a room next to his 22-year-old son, Danish
2015
7 days after Gandhi’s birthday, Zahid Rasool Bhatt, petrol bombs thrown on his truck
2016
Jan. 14 On the very day of Makar Sankranti, Pongal, Bihu several passengers on a train attaked, Harda distt, MP
Feb. 20 Muslim cops trashed, forced to carry a saffron flag, chant Jai Bhawani
You’ll make me run, snatch the food from my mouth, chase me out of my home, kill my son on a train…
For him one last kiss
All he had in his bag were gifts
Not in my name
Mere nam pe nahi
Lelo chashme wapas,
you hear him?.... Gandhi
In the name of making your India you’ll make me run, snatch the food from my mouth, chase me out of my home, kill my son on a train, slit my brother’s neck in a truck…..
2016
6 days before Holi, 2 cattle traders hanged
2016
Apr 5, 10 days before Ram NavamiMustain Abbas shot dead
2016
7 days before Ind. Day two brothers in Andhra tied to a tree, thrashed for skinning a dead cow
2017
Apr 1, 13 days before Ambedkar Jayanti, Pehlu Khan
attacked, died, for illegally transporting buffalo
you…you…you
Don’t you dare take my name
Not in my name, never in my name
When all he did was save his cattle from
dying on the streets, make shoes, sell her,
feed his family, keep them from dying
in the streets.
When all he had in his bag were sweets,
gifts for his sister, brother, mother.
Will you wipe us all clean?
Bass
Bilkis
Where are you, Bilkis?
One last ….
In the name of making your India you’ll make me run, snatch my cattle, my food from my mouth, chase me out of my home, kill my son on a train, slit my brother’s neck in a truck,…..you…you…you
You can you hear?
Does a sound….
All in the name of a cow
My cow
Not your cow, my cow
For her I gave hard earned money,
Fed her, cared for her, milked her
And when she’s ready to go
You'll let her die on the street,
Let her bleed, let me bleed?
Not in my name
No no no, not in her name
Chashme pe likh lete ho to samjh lete ho
Nazar pa liya?
You turn a blind eye
I’ve turned my other cheek
Time after time
Theek?
So it's like this -
If I’m a student, whose brother wears a uniform and fights for his country you throw fake video tapes in my face and tell me, we’ll teach you who a patriot is
If I’m a woman you tell me wear what we tell you, walk when we tell you, marry who we tell you,
you asked for it so raped you will be
If I’m a farmer you tell me - jai kisan nahi, jai jawan
If I’m a child you tell me it doesn’t matter, you don’t need to know who your first prime minister was,
I’ll give you fresh spectacles, read what I tell you.
If I’m a nobody you’ll still get after me
Tell me what to eat, who to meet, when to play
Hey, I say -
You’ll never know my name
Yes, you’ll never know my name!
If I’m a cow you’ll let me die on the street,
Let me bleed, my master bleed
Feeeed, what do you feed on?
breeed, do you only breed…… hate?
Not in my name
Don’t you dare
Not in that child’s name
You’ll never know that child’s name
Mere naam mere naam pe nahi, kabhi nahi
Lelo Chashme wapas, hear him? Gandhi
You hear? Can you hear?
How come not a sound escapes their lips
For him one last kiss
Not in my name…bass
All he had in his bag were gifts
Sab ke saath, sab ka vikas
Bassss
So, so so I pray,
Oh god, may I be born next a goat,
not a cow, not human,
You won’t chase me, lynch me, teach me, bleed me
Make me, make India,
Apr. 21. 7 days after Ambedkar Jayanti, a family, a small girl elderly attacked, beaten in J&k
And it goes on….
June 22, 4 days before Eid, Junaid….
June 27, yesterday, Usman Ansari, Deori, ranchi, thrashed
For a dead cow found outside his housssssse
Basssss
Don’t you dare
Not in her name, not in mine
Not his, not hers
Don’t you dare
All he had in his bag were gifts
His, hers, yours, theirs
You kill in the name of country
Stand up, Stand up India
Look, there’s Saira
There’s Bilkis, there’s Dhabolkar, Usman Ansari, Pehlu Khan, Pansare
Junaaaaaaid
Yes in his name, in hers, Bilkis
In his and hers, and ours
Get on a train, a truck, walk into the park,
Fill the streets
You hear….can you hear?
There’s a roar….. a shor
Today in my name
A last kiss
Bass
They shall not pass
(give many flying kisses….at the last one -)
Don’t you dare - you’ll never catch that kiss
Maya Krishna Rao Performance made - Jun. 27-28, 2017
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But a 9 to 5 kind of life doesn’t feel intuitive to her, and Shannon listens to her intuition. She’s learned through the years that when she approaches the world with a heart of love, warmth and trust, things really materialize the way they are supposed to.
vacant farm and asked if she could lease the farm and make a go of it. She stood on his doorstep and explained that she wanted to grow organic food and start a CSA, but Shannon could tell he clearly wasn’t listening to anything she was saying. He scrutinized her and said, “You’re not going to grow wacky tobbacky, are you?” After explaining that she would not be growing marijuana but was, indeed, just interested in growing vegetables—and after explaining what “organic” meant—he agreed to lease her the farm. Once she won him over (which I can imagine didn’t take very long), he became a huge supporter, loaning her equipment, plowing her fields. She had free range of his greenhouses. Whatever she asked for, he gave her. What a nice situation in which to learn farming!
Shannon quickly realized, though, that even with his help she couldn’t do it by herself, so she convinced a girlfriend from Malabar Farm to come join her. They farmed two acres, started a CSA in Columbus, sold to restaurants, and both had part-time jobs. For two years they worked their butts off, and Shannon enjoyed it. But she was young, was living in the middle of nowhere, and still wanted a social life, so she and her friend decided to move away from the farm.
